Every marriage faces moments of hurt. Whether it’s a harsh word, broken trust, or unmet expectations, the wounds can add up over time. When those moments pile up, it’s easy to feel stuck—distant from your spouse and unsure how to move forward. But forgiveness can save your marriage. Cathy Krafve shares in Marriage Conversations: From Co-Existing to Cherished, it can transform your relationship and help you rediscover God’s purpose for me and my marriage.
“Forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools we have in marriage,” Cathy explains. “It’s not just a process—it’s a choice of your free will. You decide to forgive, and sometimes, it takes time for your emotions to catch up with that decision.”
Why Forgiveness Feels Difficult—but Is Always Worth It
Cathy knows forgiveness isn’t easy. After 40+ years of marriage, she’s seen how misunderstandings, unmet expectations, and even day-to-day life can create friction between spouses. “There were moments when I wondered if forgiving again was worth it,” she admits. “But the answer was always yes. Forgiveness doesn’t excuse hurtful behavior, but it opens the door to healing and restoration.”
One of the biggest challenges in forgiveness is overcoming the fear of vulnerability. “It’s scary to let go of anger or disappointment, especially if you’ve been hurt deeply,” Cathy says. “But vulnerability is the key to reconnecting with your spouse. When we’re honest about what’s hurt us, we give our partner the opportunity to nurture us.”
The Biblical Foundation for Forgiveness in Marriage
Cathy points to Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 18:21-22, where He tells Peter to forgive “seventy times seven.” “I actually did the math,” she laughs. “It’s 490 times! My husband and I got there quickly. Forgiveness is a daily choice, and it’s the cornerstone of emotional intimacy.”
Steps to Rebuild Trust After Forgiveness
But forgiveness is only the first step. Cathy encourages couples to rebuild trust through affirming communication and shared goals. “Marriage is a partnership,” she explains. “We need to remind ourselves why we chose each other in the first place. For me, that meant writing down all the reasons I married David, even in moments of frustration. That simple act shifted my heart and helped me see him through God’s eyes.”
Another vital aspect of forgiveness is grace. “We’re not married to Jesus,” Cathy says with a smile. “We’re married to sinners, just like us. That’s why grace is so important. It allows us to love each other, flaws and all, and reflect God’s purpose for marriage.”
How forgiveness can save your marriage
Forgiveness also helps couples discover a deeper spiritual connection. “Marriage teaches us to love like Christ loves the church,” Cathy explains. “It’s a refining process that helps us grow closer to God and each other. When we forgive, we mirror God’s forgiveness toward us, and that’s where healing begins.”
Take the First Step Today
So, how can forgiveness save your marriage? It starts with a choice. Choose to let go of resentment. Choose vulnerability. Choose grace. As Cathy says, “When you take that step, you open the door to healing, intimacy, and discovering God’s purpose for you and your marriage.”
Forgiveness isn’t just about moving past the hurt—it’s about creating a stronger, more connected relationship. And that’s worth every effort.
Ready to save your marriage? Start today by reading the first chapter of Marriage Conversations for FREE.
Frequently Asked Questions About Forgiveness in Marriage
What is forgiveness in marriage?
Forgiveness in marriage is choosing to release resentment and anger toward your spouse, even when they’ve hurt you. It’s not about forgetting the hurt but about creating space for healing and rebuilding trust.
How do I forgive my spouse?
Forgiveness begins with a choice, even if your emotions don’t align right away. Be honest about your pain, pray for grace, and take small steps to let go of bitterness while focusing on rebuilding your relationship.
Why is forgiveness important in a relationship?
Forgiveness is essential for emotional intimacy and trust. It allows couples to move past hurt, grow closer together, and reflect God’s grace and love in their marriage.
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